My Book Boyfriend: Jake Tolan

MBB is hosted every Wednesday over at the Unread Reader. It's a super fun meme where you pick a literary boy you're currently crushing on and give his stats, some quotes, and pictures of what he looks like to you. For more info, check out the introduction post here.

Aaaah! This week, I am so crushing on Jake Tolan from Saving June (which, by the way, is an absolutely AMAZING book.... just y'know... in case you were wondering... :)

Jake Tolan

• okay, technically his name is Jacob, but most people call him Jake (though there is one person who calls him Jay)
• is 18
• has messy brown hair that sticks out in all directions-- but the kind that makes bedhead look attractive
•  has piercing green eyes
• sometimes wears a fedora!
• is obsessed with music. Really. 
• believes that music can see you through anything
• can be sarcastic and frustrating
• has a black van named Joplin
• smokes..... but I mean... no one's perfect...

"Wow," I say. "you are truly obsessed."
"Yeah, I kinda am," he agrees, grinning. "Without Music, life would be a mistake

"And that's what good music does. It speaks to you. It changes you." Jake leans in toward me a little closer, voice softening. "What I'm trying to say is, it's just nice, I guess, knowing that someone else can put into words what I feel. That there are people who have seen through things worse than I have, and they came out on the other side okay. Not only that, but they made some kind of twisted, fucked-up sense of the completely senseless. They made it mean something. These songs tell me I'm not alone. If you look at it that way, music... music can see you through anything."

I look at him for too long after that, and wonder why, exactly, Jake has to keep doing this--has to keep having these moments of saying or doing exactly the right thing, throwing my perception of him all off-kilter. Moments like these make me want more from him than I have ever wanted from any guy--or even just another person, period. 

It scares me, makes me itch to either run away screaming or push him up against the nearest tree and kiss him until I can't breathe. 


"Have you ever played me that Clapton song?" I whisper.
...
Jake stirs behind me. "no, I don't think so."
"How does it go?"

He moves so his mouth is right under my ear, brushing the skin there, and one of his hands slides up, resting on my rib cage. My whole body tingles as he starts to sing softly into my ear. I'm not facing him, my eyes are closed, but I can imagine the look on his face. I listen to the words, and I have that feeling again, the same one I had right before I started sobbing in the grass. A tidal wave of emotion rises inside of me.